Remember Me At My Best

Somewhere I need to find a balance in between being a mom, working, blogging, starting / running my own business and making time for me

See how the “making time for me” was last?

It’s because it is ok, but sometimes I just want to cry

Because I am so alone and lonely but also because I am also just so damn frustrated!

I just want to go into the middle of a forest, scream, and never return to normality

I just want to be enveloped by life

Right now, I am drowning

I am lazy and a procastinator, so that does not aide in my cause to become a better me

A workier, busier me

As much I want to relax, I also just want to not

Like there is so much I have to do, want to do; that just sitting and staring off into space is not a viable option

I am typing this, at work, instead of actually working

Because I am bored of my job today – I would much prefer to work from home, taking periodic breaks to catch up on my latest series *noted I don’t need to be staring at the screen to be in the loop

It’s been so long since I’ve been at a movie theatre – popcorn and all

That’s one of my guilty pleasures, eating not movies

Enjoying something, even if only for a little bit

I am drowning and flailing for help but you all just stand there and stare

You’re more interested in my “losing my grip on life” posts than the one’s where I reach out to you and ask you to show some humanity

Many a time, in the past few months, I’ve thought about ending this blogging gig knowing you wouldn’t miss me

But I would miss me

The me I get to be

The real me

The me that listens

The me that is always here

Not the me that talks above the crowd, wanting someone to wrap me up, burrito-style, and tell me “It’s fucked up, you won’t be ok but I am here”

A little bit of something – for me

They say the people who need love most show the most love

The ones who need kindness, are the kindest

You get where I’m going right?

I need to find a balanace, where you all get a piece of me without breaking me

-social media hiatus is on the cards-

-i know you won’t miss me-

One thought on “Remember Me At My Best

  1. I will miss u. I always do. The ones that has the pleasure of meeting u are so blessed by it. U the difference and yes life can be a messy business but that’s why Jesus is the center of it all. To hold it together and show u the way. Mwah

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