Losing a life

And just like that, we are dealt a blow, an impending death in the family

Yes,it happens to all of us but yet, we never expect it to happen to us

Last night, we were told to visit my grandfather (on my mother’s side) and say our goodbyes as it was only a matter time

We knew it was coming, well atleast I did and in true Athena fashion I tried to play it off, make a light hearted joke of it when in reality it is crushing.

Seeing someone you’ve known your whole life, who you’ve grown up loving and respecting, just lay there. Unable to breathe. Unable to talk. Barely able to keep his eyes open.

What I will treasure, amongst the solemn faces and teary eyes, are the times I spent with him. Taking him and my grandmother for breakfast, taking him to collect his pension money, watching as how, through his pains, he still managed to be a great grandfather to Zineah. I will cherish that. Him. Memories.

I will never forget the kindness he showed and how he was able to take any of my sarcastic comments and turn them right around on me. Whatever he was going through, he remained faithful to Christ and he remained thankful.

Ha! He always hated when I made him sit infront by me, when I constantly asked, “you need help?”, as he walked. He wasn’t a prideful man but he didn’t want to be treated like a sickly one, even though, often times he was.

Zineah was with for the goodbye, she wanted to pray for him but there were too many eyes. We will go back every night before he passes. It pains me to see him like that though. Let someone on their death bed never be your lasting memory of them.

Zineah cried in the car. I think it was too much for her. A few hours before the goodbye, I got to speak to my grandfather on the phone and that was the worst sound I could’ve ever imagined. As my parents left the house to go visit my grandfather, I sat Zineah down and tried my best to have the death talk with my almost 6 year old. Less than 15 minutes after the goodbye, she cried. Quietly. As if ashamed. I told her, that we are all sad. We all cry and it is ok. I will take her with me every night until his passing and I will continue to ask her to pray for him (her idea initially) so that that may provide her with some comfort.

We love you Pa ❤️

You have made an impact in this life and you will forever live on in our hearts 💔

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