I am sick, just a bit of flu. I put it down to a lack of sleep, starting my period and then work stress. So when I cry, it seems like sinuses. Which is what I need now, no one to know that I am crying or want to cry or have been crying. I screamed in the car yesterday, my daughter found it hilarious – she joined in. I screamed from frustration, anger and because I needed to. I am shaking, uncontrollably, controllably. I am drowning. Noticing that it’s the small things that make me want to lose my fuckin mind because why the fuck not! I am struggling to breathe, not from the flu but because if I don’t I am scared that I will lose it in a fit of rage. I want to hit something. I keep on snapping. I want to shout. At you. I want to throw something. Break something. Because maybe then I will feel better. But I know I won’t. That is not going to help. I have been putting off going to my GP for the longest time. I do think. Mentality. I need help. Emotionally. I need comfort. Physically. I need to be fucked. Would that not be the easier way to just let every – fuckin – thing go. Just like that. One quick pomp and I will be better. Hopefully it’s that easy. I am sick. I am not ok. I am taking a small almost non existent break from social media. I don’t think you are the problem though. But I am about to break.