I Want A Daddy

No, not me

I already have one

A damn good one at that

The kid

She is 5 years old now

She hasn’t said that she wants one , outloud but she has been making reference to “daddies” on TV shows and her playing has more so encompassed the word “daddy”

Now, when she was 3 years old she already asked me about this situation and , at the time, I explained to her that she was just too young at the time

Now though, how much longer can I avoid it? Yes I know that avoiding it is ultimately not the best or wisest decision but you know, just sometimes.

I have asked her, more than once, on those days I am feeling less than, if she wanted one.

A daddy.

You know, as if it’s just that easy click of the finger to get a dad.

Just

So

Easy

I am fearful for what the future holds. How different, successful or not, will she turn out because of the decisions I’ve made. The actions that took place.

Many of you do not know that for 2 years I have been fighting a financially draining journey. Recently though, I won.

Now won is not the right term but I sure as hell didn’t lose but how will my “winning” now affect her in 6 months, at 6 years?

Have I made a grave mistake by doing what I think was right? Even though he doesn’t contribute, at all? Am I wrong? Am I robbing her of an important relationship?

She has my dad though, my grandfather, my brother, uncle and cousin.

Alot of good strong men.

Does one really make a difference?

I know she needs a daddy but does she really need that one?

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