Oh, hi there!

Here’s why I am awake at 4am on a Saturday morning. Not for the preggers or the child who does not sleep through the night but family. No, we’re not braai’ing or having festivities. We are fighting. The good old fight. I won’t mention names, of course but just know that I am speaking as an innocent and mostly confused bystander.

I got woken up by yelling. Lots of it, with a few cuss words thrown in their aswell. Now, I don’t mind the cussing because come on!, but I did feel like this fight was uncalled for and perhaps a show of one’s true emotions.

If you cannot love me through the dark, because we do not love me when my light shines.

Do not stay with me because becoming a statistic is so cliche, but rather stay with me because the love you felt the very first day you saw me still runs through your veins.

Love me at worst, treat me better at mine.

Isn’t there a saying , “fight fire with fire

Now, is the saying telling you to attack using the same amo or not?

Anyway, whatever. It doesn’t matter. What matters is this. I am an eavesdropper. I love eavesdropping. It’s a thing. Let’s all not do it in 2018. It is my thing. Now leave it alone and see what else I have to say.

My last relationship was over 5 years ago. Even though it was toxic and hurt in ways only seen now, we were never horrible to each other. Well, I was a cunt in the beginning. He was a twat. We took a small break but when we came back together we were better for it. Because we LOVED each other. I don’t ever think love was the problem. We never mistreated the other person and no matter how we felt or what kind of day we had, there was always respect. We drank together, like a handful of times but things never got out of hand. Things never escalated because we were always open and honest with each other, in our sober state. We had the kind of friends who didn’t ask dumb questions to get the other person riled up. We had friends that were respectful and who loved us, to some degree. I know that I will never act in a disrespectful way to my partner but after being witness to the travesty of tonight for 6 years now, I’m not so sure I even want to be in the same room as those people.

You should never allow anyone to speak to you like that. You should also not lower yourself to their level and react to them like. Be the bigger person. It is hard but you’ll thank yourself for it later.

Red Cross 16 Days of Activism Story Seven | Sadie


One year old Sadie* was rushed to the Red Cross War Memorial Children’s Hospital with a fractured femur. Doctors were told that she fell off the bed, but the fall was not witnessed by either parent. Sadie’s father explained that he left her alone in the family home while he used the bathroom, which was 100 meters from the house. Upon his return, he found Sadie on the floor and crying. When he picked her up, her cries intensified. He explains that this is when he noticed that there was something wrong with her little leg.

Doctors in the trauma centre at Red Cross Children’s Hospital examined Sadie and determined that the type of fracture she had, was not consistent with her father’s version of the events surrounding her injury. A child protection investigation began. After numerous social work assessments and hours of investigation, the findings of the child protection office were heart-breaking:

Sadie’s parents had lied about her fall being an unwitnessed event…
Sadie’s parents had lied about her fall being from a bed…
Sadie’s had lied about Sadie’s fall being a fall at all…

Sadie’s parents got into a physical fight and one year old little Sadie was picked up and used as human shield. In the midst of this violence, her tiny little body was pulled at and hit and in the end, the sheer force of this violence was the reason her little leg broke. Once the fight was over, Sadie’s parents continued drinking alcohol and little Sadie waited – in excruciating pain – for two 2 days before her parents brought her to the hospital.

Sadie has been removed from her parent’s home and now lives in a place of safety.


Red Cross 16 Days of Activism Story Six | Jade


3-year-old Jade* was staying at her mother’s boyfriend’s house. Sometime during the night, little Jade wet her bed. In most households, this would be met with a gentle reminder from a parent. The child would be reminded that it’s ok, it happens, it is not a big deal. The sheets would be changed and life would go on. But Jade did not come from “most” households. Jade came from a household were violence inescapable and for Jade, what happened next could only be described as an avalanche of abuse.

Jade’s mother’s boyfriend –  the perpetrator – proceeded to punish her while her mother watched helplessly on the side. It was reported that he allegedly covered her mouth with Sellotape, slapped her, pulled her by her hair and used her t-shirt to hang her little body on hook behind the door. Jade’s mother stated that she was unable to protect little Jade as her boyfriend had repeatedly kicked her in the stomach.

After the violence stopped, the perpetrator bathed Jade and reconciled with her mother.

The following day, Jade’s mother left her in the care of the perpetrator and when she returned home, Jade was once again in the bath with fresh bruises covering her tiny body. Jade was not walking properly and her mother noticed that there was sand in her ears. The perpetrator said that Jade had fell in the backyard. Jade’s mother called the police and Jade was brought into the Hospital. Doctors at the Red Cross War Memorial Children’s Hospital found evidence of physical and sexual abuse.

Jade been removed from the care of both her biological parents and the perpetrator and put in a place of safety.


Red Cross 16 Days of Activism Story Five | Iman

7-year-old Iman* was outside her home, doing what children do best: playing. After a short while of hearing nothing from her, her parents realised that she was missing, Iman had been kidnapped. A search ensued. A member of the community noted that she had seen little Iman walking away from her home with a man. The two had walked in the direction of the nearby grave yard.

Iman’s parents, along with community members rushed to the graveyard. Iman was found but it was clear that she had been raped.

Iman was brought to the Trauma Unit at the Red Cross War Memorial Children’s Hospital and the child protection office was called. After hours and hours of therapy, Iman was finally able to identify perpetrator.

Police arrested the man and after criminal court proceedings he was found guilty and sentenced to 18 years imprisonment.

Once the child protection investigations were complete, Iman was put back into the care of her parents. She continues to experience severe Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. The psychological scars from this sexual assault continue to affect her behaviour and schooling three years later.


Why I Use EarthSap & Why You Should Too

For awhile now, I have been using a brand called EarthSap. It is a brand and product that I stand firmly behind because of the smell and the “stay”

What I mean by the “stay” is that alot of the products one uses now adays, their smell or stay of smell does not last very long and when you’re done uses the product as intended, it does not bode very well in the long run.

What do I love about EarthSap products?

  • They are Natural
  • They are Vegan
  • They are Proudly South African (I 100% back Proudly SA brands)
  • They are Not Tested On Animals (hurray for cruelty free!)
  • They do not use dyes , synthetic fragrances or SLES/SSL
  • They do not contain Artificial preservatives, phosphates ,petrochemicals , chlorine or bleach
  • They are 100% biodegradable

I have been using their body wash whilst showering and I am inlove with the smell and how long it’s kept me. It’s been under 2 months now and my bottle is still 3 quarters full #amazing

The other product that I am using is their laundry powder and at first I was skeptical because how was this environmentally friendly product suppose to keep my clothes clean and make me happy? Well, hot damn, it did!

Next time you do a load of laundry, smell your clothing and I can guarantee you, it will smell like nothing! With EarthSap, your clothing comes out smelling like a babies fart; if baby fart smelt like flowers and happiness.

The last product of the expansive range that I had the privilege of trying out was the concentrated cleaner. Not going to lie, thought it was sort of like a Handy Andy; kinda disappointed when I squirted it out and it was more of a clear liquid. And then my disappointment slowly creeped back in because it is FUCKING AMAZIN! I’m not sure if you of you know but I have the most disgusting black ring around the bath. EarthSap Concentrated Cleaner did not take the black ring of death away, but it has slowly but surely helped it turn into a lighter grey ring of almost there sunshine.

All EarthSap products can be bought online at these retailers

Wellnesss Warehouse

Faithful to Nature

Essentially Natural

Organic Choice



Red Cross 16 Days of Activism Story Four | Funeka

Funeka* and Vuyo* were brought into the Trauma Unit at the Red Cross War Memorial Children’s Hospital by a family member. Overcome with a desperate need to end a vicious cycle of physical abuse, this family member disclosed a horrifying history of extreme physical, emotional and verbal abuse. Abuse suffered at the hands of their mother.

A physical examination of the siblings revealed no signs of recent abuse, but it was clear that both children were grappling with extreme Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.  14-year-old Funeka expressed feelings of deep loneliness and said she felt that there was no one that truly cared for her. 7-year-old Vuyo was emotionally withdrawn, hyper-vigilant and suffered from restless and broken sleep.

A police case has been opened and the family member who brought the sibling to the Hospital has made a statement. She described feeling incredibly angry and helpless but was desperate to help these two children get back to a place where they felt safe and loved.

In addition to continued therapy, a community-based social worker has also been tasked with investigating the care options for the children in the future. For now, they remain in this family members care.


Red Cross 16 Days of Activism Story Three | Caitlyn

Caitlyn* is a 4-month-old baby girl. While most children her age are cuddled close to their mother’s chests in a solid bubble of love, Caitlyn’s reality is violently different.

Caitlyn was admitted to the Trauma Unit at the Red Cross War Memorial Children’s Hospital after she was raped by an adult male who was known to her family. Caitlyn’s case was sent to the child protection office and an investigation began.

Caitlyn’s parents revealed that they were sleeping their home – a wendy house – when a man known to the family, climbed through the window and abducted Caitlyn and another 6-year-old boy that was also asleep in the room at the time. The adult male raped both Caitlyn and the 6-year-old boy he had kidnapped with Caitlyn.

A police case was opened and the perpetrator was arrested. After criminal court proceedings, he was found guilty and sentenced to 20 years imprisonment. Caitlyn was removed from her parents care and put in a place of safety. Caitlyn’s parents were under the influence of alcohol at the time of her abduction. After just 4 short months in this world, she has had to face more violence than most of us face in a lifetime.


Red Cross 16 Days of Activism Story Two | Akhona

Akhona* was admitted to Red Cross War Memorial Children’s Hospital after she was raped by her uncle.

Akhona’s mother had left her in the care of her uncle, trusting that as a family member, he would have her best interests at heart. Sadly, this was not the case. After the child protection office at the Hospital got involved, an investigation started and a police case was opened.

The uncle was arrested and confessed to the crime. He has since been sentenced to 20 years imprisonment.

Akhona was discharged back into her mother’s care and continues to experience severe Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder including inappropriate sexual behaviour. Akhona’s mother has slipped into a manic-depressive state. After Akhona’s rape she attempted to commit suicide. Through hours of therapy it was revealed that she too is a rape survivor, having lived through chronic sexual abuse at the hands of her grandfather 25 years ago.

Akhona’s story is an example of how pervasive sexual violence in our society can be.




Red Cross 16 Days of Activism Story One | Alexander


A 10 year old boy was admitted to the hospital with skull fractures and bleeding on the brain after were referred for counselling. The patient was discharged back into the care of the mother after the child protection investigation was concluded. The father was granted bail even though the social worker he disclosed being physically assaulted by his father. After a social work investigation, a long standing history of domestic violence was reported.

The mother attempted on multiple times to leave the abusive relationship but always returned after the father apologised. A police case was opened the father was arrested. Mother and the children wrote to court to oppose bail. The mother works to support her children. The father has been given specific bail conditions to stay away from the family home and from his wife and children.

The mother and children are very fearful. The social workers provide monitoring but have limited resources.


Happy Birthday To Me

I have the most amazing people in my life! I have reached a happier and deeper understanding of my life and it is lifechanging.  I do not allow many people into the world of me because the world of me is not for everyone, sometimes it’s not even for me. 


The few that are apart of my life, make everything worthwhile.  From the down moments to the up moments.  To the everything inbetween. Like being dunked into a pool unawares, the appreciativeness has just enveloped me and I am inlove. 

With love

With you

With the guys and girls in my life 



I really do have the best people in my life.  They make the 9 – 5 just a little easier