The “BIG” apology

Note to readers: I’ll be “airquoting” my way through this post #sarcasm

So,if you’ve been following my blog,you’ll know that there was an argument that happened a few weeks ago.

Fight World
Population: Me,Brother’s Wife & Brother

So,I apologised #biggerperson and then,my brother apologised on Saturday…..nogals the last day of the month. Now,you’re all probably thinking “YAY,he finally apologised!”
No! #restingbitchface
He “apologised”

Exact details?

Zineah and I were alone at home. She is playing with her dolls on the floor and I’m laying on the couch. She hears the garage door open and runs to check who it might be. It’s Aunty Althea,Uncle Vincent and The Boys. Zineah then goes with them to the back (yes,they live at the back in a seperate entrance #baneofmyexistence).

THE REAL STORY, the juicy one,the shocker😮
Vincent walks up to me, ” I dont want to.”
I proceed to sit the fuck up, ” Ok”
Vincent ” I dont want to. I’m sorry for what I said and how I acted.”
Me ” Ok. Thank You”
Vincent is still standing infront of me
Me ” Do you want a hug?”
Vincent ” No”
Me “Oh,I thought you wanted a hug because you’re still standing here #queuelaughter ”
Vincent ” I dont want to”
Me “Ok”
Vincent then proceeds to walk away,turns around and ONE more time for good measure ” I dont want to”
Me ” Dont want to what?”
Vincent “Apologise”
Me ” Ok”


Now ladies and gents,all together now WHAT THE FUCK!!!!

That was ballsy,I’ll admit that but really? What was he trying to do? Spite me by saying that he doesnt want to apologise. I could really care less. This is all after I told his wife to leave the situation and not make him apologise. This is what u get when you force people. Force is a crime mense.

Honestly,that just means that he does want me dead. He does want to bury me. It’s sad. It takes me back to watching my best friend brothers and family have to bury her,and she left behind 2 gorgeous kids. Really? Is that what you want for your parents? You can’t even be sincerely sorry?  Just know that if zi vrek randomly – he should be the first suspect.

Probably the most random and suckiest apology EVER!  Like I say, you can cry st the things in your life or laugh. I choose to laugh,even through my tears.

Have a great Monday and thanx for reading:)

Arguments & Apologies

This post is about that…..Arguments & Apologies….just that
I had a good long chat with a friend of mine who believes that I am owed an apology
He believes that I should demand respect and not let anyone just walk all over me
I thought about it – about what he said…..and cried,by myself; as I psycho analyzed the entire situation and how,even though I consider myself the ‘black sheep’ of the family,how, despite all of that I am worthy
Why should I always have to apologise even when I’m not wrong?
Here I sit,waiting for an apology,knowing it won’t happen because you are just too damm proud to admit that you did something wrong
I doubt you apologised to your wife when you hit her in your drunken rage?
Will you apologise to the next girl?
Will you apologise for the inappropriate comments? The obscene gestures?
NO! Because you are too damn proud
Pride killed many a men, and it is slowly bringing you down
What makes you think you are better than me? To call me a p***, a n***. To tell me that you’ll basically own my ass out on the streets.
You forget,I was there. That time you needed something,I was there. When you needed someone to cover for you, I was there.
No questions asked. Just doing my duty.

Yet you fail at doing yours,protecting me.

Tears R Stupid

I don’t want to cry but I should
Because tears are stupid
Tears are just a sign of weakness and there isn’t any time in my life for that
I have to be strong
It does kill me
It does hurt
But I have to dust myself off and carry on
No time for tears
No time for weakness

I always want to cry but it’s even more prominent when I look at my daughter – such a pure innocent beauty

I only want to protect her
Even from my own weaknesses

There is no shame in crying. Emotions. Tears
Just sometimes,there’s never any time

I want to cry
Maybe later


I have met ALOT of arrogant people in my life but my brother has a different type of way of pissing me off.
Let’s get one thing all the way straight – I CANNOT STAND arrogant people, they irk me to the very core.
My brother walks around with this air of entitlement and his attitude! Liewe land!
I mean,I have an attitude problem but atleast I’m able to admit that I have a problem and atleast I can pull myself towards myself when I need to but this one!
Always moody and then u wonder why his spawn have dikbek 24/7.
Sometimes I just wanna klap him. I mean,like seriously,you are almost 30, like get the fuck over yourself and realise what the frakkle is going on.


I’m out *peace*


vent-ilator #lol get it?

I loathe my job….let’s just get that out of the way AND I would like to specify that I never once said my blog would be one theme aligned (pretty sure it’s not the right word).
This is NOT going to be a long ass blogpost – I just needed to say something to someone,and I hope there are alot of someones reading my posts.
I get daily headaches from how much I hate this place and you know how people always say they are leaving their current place of employment because there is no career growth there ; well in my case it’s the damn truth! Branch Administrator year in and year out. I’ve worked it out and seems like they’ve had quite a few different administrators in the past years and they all only last a year. I bet it has something to do with the loneliness and the ridiculous pressure and being treated like a fuckin child! I want to own my own business. I want to be someone in a company. I’m not about the money but I don’t always wanna be just admin – I wanna be the person everyone needs.

Too much to ask for? I think not!
Feeling #bleh