Let’s Not Get It Twisted

It’s crazy how much I miss her even though I saw her a few hours ago
It’s crazy how I want a picture of her just to see if anything has changed
It must be madness that I can’t wait to leave in the morning but then when I get to work, I yearn to be with her

Continue reading “Let’s Not Get It Twisted”

Disgusted

This post will be short & sweet

A revelation o f sorts

Today I had a look into a full length mirror

At myself

The fat me I am not able to see in my basic ass mirror

A size 14

One child

27 years old

I saw all my bodily imperfections

“Is this what I look like?”

“Is this what you all see when you look at me?”

I know my face is fat and I know I need to lose a few, but that glimpse, that momentary glimpse was all I needed, internally, to lose my fuckin shit

I went batshit crazy, in my head, silently

I had a revelation

Things bulging and bouncing when I wasn’t moving an inch

Things hanging where they should be taunt but not tight

I should look like what I think I should but I should not look like this

I should be proud of what I look  like naked but even I wouldn’t want to sleep with myself

I was disgusted

I am disgusted

I need to make a change

This is not one of those “I will diet for the first week of January 2016”

This is an realisation

My naked body in a full length mirror is fuckin revolting & I am not looking for sympathy

I am looking for you to recognize that this is the first time I have seen myself naked, completely

I wanted to throw something at that mirror

To crack it

Clearly with a belly so big, so sucking in is not working

Something needs to happen

Something needs to change

I have to stick to my words

I have gotten much bigger than what I was a year ago and even though I might never be as pretty as I want or as thin as I want ; I know I can start somewhere

 

Not so much of a rant post but thanx for reading

 

Here’s a Christmas tree for the time I’ve wasted 🙂

 

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GhostWriter | A Poem For Sam From Me

Sam wanted to be ravaged
She’d been alone for too long
She needed someone to pull her hair and bite her neck
She craved a manly, rugged touch
She wanted nothing more than to be taken from the back
To the back
Pulled into a dark abyss where fantasy was as she imagined
She needed to be punished
For what? She did not know
She needed to be choked as she came
Sam needed to be ravaged
Passionately
She was closed off
She was closed down
Sam needed to be looked at
Lustfully
Wanted
Sam needed to be explored
She had a desire for the unwanted
The unhinged
To be lustfully taken
Forcefully taken
A kiss so rare and dangerous that even she would run scared
Sam needed to become unhinged
She needed to be free
Thoughtless
Embodied with yours
Sam wanted your mouth to engulf her most intimate parts
She wanted you to become one with her
She needed you to stay there
Stay here
Sam craved your attention
She sought your lonely heart
Your wandering hands
Sam needed you to be her
She needed you to be her
Sam wanted you to be him
She wanted you to be him
She loathed what you did to her
She loved how you did it to her
She no longer wanted anyone else
She craved your kisses
She longed for your eyes
Sam was sold
On you
For you
Sam was sold
Into this fanatasy
Still alone
Still lonely
Sam was sold
You bought a lonely heart
You bought a sad heart
You bought Sam
Sam needed to be ravaged
Sam wanted to be ravaged
But not hurt

Guess I’ll just POP in :)

So, as a mommy blogger; I have not been blogging much

I just have no content ; nothing and I refuse to spit out random spew to please the masses

Now, what I meant by “masses”; was all 3 of you that even bother to read the blog

Hell, I could be over here cursing and being filthy as fuck and no one would even care…..would ya?

This post is just to say that I have NOT forgotten about you, yes, all 3 of you who are skimming over this post J

I am still here

I am still alive

I am just busy and unfortunately, my blog is not TOP priority right now………….and that’s ok 🙂

 

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On that note, I would like to know ONE thing you would like to achieve in 2016…..and I will NOT accept anything about dieting etc

Mine? Getting my driver’s license

New-Girl-Cartoon

 

Dating Dilemma

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So, I have been single for about 2 years and I have a daughter
In recent months, my mother has been on my case to find someone. The more I try and convince this lady, that I am happy and that I am not looking, the more she persists.

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This weekend:
Mother: What happens if someone named David comes up to you and says he in interested in you?
Me: *most skeptical look on this side of the world* Why does his name have to be David?
Mother: Just answer the question!
Me: But why David? Is that like the ideal name?
Mother: Agh, it’s just the first name I thought of
Me: I’ll probably say “NO, THANK YOU”
Mother: *gives me the side eye*
Me: Well, if it happens, I hope that you’ll walk away
Mother: Ya, I will. That man must just break through your stubbornness!
Me: I’m not stubborn!
cue laughter

Also, my mother has been going to the same hairdresser for years, and just this past weekend, even the hairdresser wanted to know if I was still single.

My colleagues, also believe that I should just get surprised with a man. No blind date set ups. Just “spontaneous”

Ya right!

 

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