You Deserve More

I am proud of you
You need to know that
Not that you don’t know that already but as Facebook keeps on regurtitating memories upon my sad soul
I can’t help but become emotional and sentimental about how small you once were
I often joke that you would stay small and get back in my belly; then atleast I’d have a real reason for having this big rolling mag
You deserve more than this life
More than feeling less than
You deserve love and happyness
Endless bounds of it
I wish I could give it to you all
The knowledge to not follow that boy to the ends of the Earth but also the knowledge that you have to make mistakes and get hurt to learn
You deserve more than mediocre, because you, my love are worth 1 hundred million thousand
You deserve only the sunshine, even peaking through the dark stormy clouds
You deserve to be loved immensely and then hurt deeply
The good and alot of the bad
Knowing that at any minute you can turn around and I’ll be right there
Being your mother makes me proud
You being my child makes me proud
If “Mother” is the only title I ever have in this earthly life, I am ok with that
No matter what other’s say
You dear Zineah have brought so much joy into the life of others’
You are loved beyond compare
By people you don’t even know
You deserve more than the little love I have to give
Because of you, I am who I am
Proud
A Mother
A Provider
I love you Zineah

May you never forget that

The word “Coloured” and why I hate it

Recently my family and I have started this ritual, in the spirit of being healthy; we try to walk a few times a wekk. A 30 minute walk / jog. It’s fun. I sweat. I pain. It’s for a good cause though (you’d understand if you ever saw in the light). But this post is not about the eternal train of wanting – to – lose – weight, this is about the ever popularised and overused term; “Coloured”

To say I identify as a Coloured would only be because that is what I have been told and from the area I have been raised; “Coloured” is the first and most natural bracket I have been put into.

I have been called

  • too white for Mitchells Plain
  • too sturvy because I am unfamilar with the wordings of my people

People have even gone as far as to say, “Are you sure?” when I tell them I have lived my entire life in the thriving drug and gang stricken community of “The Plain”

Do I get offended when I hear the term “Coloured”? NO

I do however, hate it and all the negative conotations associated with that ACI status

I am not white

I am not black

I am Coloured

  • Low level
  • Crass
  • Unintelligent

This not only what people say but how people look at me, I see the judgement in your eyes and that version of Coloured infuriates me

As soon as I loudly identify as Coloured; without a second thought I get asked to perfom stranger CCA’s (Coloured Circus Acts)

  • speak like one of them
  • say something Coloured

And then, what words do you use?

The favourite and one they always look forward to is PK

*please note that at the time of these CCA’s, I worked for a predominantly white owned company (I am not racist, just stating the facts) where it was of unheard of to still be calling your parents “Mommy” and “Daddy”, to still be living at home at 25 and to be living somewhere other than Claremont / Rondebosch

The term “Coloured” irks me even though we have Youngsta, Paxtion Fielies, Wayde van Niekerk and Craig Lucas (he is Coloured, right?) ; the sort of low level Coloureds or non TV Coloureds are still seen as kak

I am a proud Coloured girl from the Plain

I am not proud of the filthy language we use, the way we are so easily mocked and how we willingly make clowns of ourselves

I am a proud Coloured girl with a mom hailing from Lavender Hill and a dad from Manenberg

I am not proud of the way we are exploited and how the term “Coloured” is so loosely thrown around like the tik injected into our children’s veins

I am a proud Coloured girl always being told “you’re too white for Mitchells Plain but too coloured for Constantia” , as if that was some sort of compliment

I am not proud because I a writing this

Admitting that I am offended by the term “Coloured”, the term i so closely relate to; is not a good thing

Leaves me as if I am not apart of anything

As f I don’t belong

It is not a proud moment but as I bowed my head in shame when, what I assume was a drug laden gent, shouted across the field “Fiekie jou naai”; I realised that that version of Colouredness, although colourful #punright is not the version of Coloured I have ever wanted to be associated with

Perhaps it is because I am my harshest critic and worst judge

<when the one rotten apple lies in the basket too long: do we also turn brown on the inside?>

The Mindless Facebook Generation

So I write this post this morning because one of my Faceboook friends “liked” a picture of my snot tissue

Like, just “liked’ it for the likeness of it

My mom commented, in typical “mom” fashion and told me go see a doctor maar die vriendin #facepalm

Just liked my snot tissue picture

Why?

Are we just scrolling through Facebook in the hopes that we will come across something we like, love or can laugh at so that we can press hold and provide our very short sigted opinion?

Instagram; it makes sense because Instagram was created for the sole purpose of photo sharing

Facebook; is like the personal version of a LinkedIn account – where you are supposed to share and interact with your “friends”, right?

The reason why I am posting this is because I just can’t seem to fathom why you would just blindly “like” a picture of my snot tissues?

It’s not a picture of anything particurlary interesting – it’s snot, literal snot on tissues; at the time of posting it was not even dry

This brings me to the incident that happened on 15 September……over the course of that weekend, I found out that the robbers were still using my phone and simcard; remembering that ALL my accounts were logged in on that phone, I proceeded to type up a Facebook post where I explicitly asked within the first 5 words that “friends” don’t “like” or “comment” because the robbers have my phone etc.

Guess what? Fucktards decided to go and “like” it

Why?

Why is it that we cannot follow a simple instruction?

Is it because we are so numb and dof that it makes “sense” to just hit like as you scroll?

You know, while you’re doing anything else; you might aswell

Don’t want me committing suicide because of a damn like

I just cannot fathom this generation and I am not talking about the YGeneration or Millenials but those that spend endless mindless hours scrolling through Facebook, looking for the latest “news” so that they can share their ever important “opinion”

As if a “like” was a 20c; something we’d so willingly let roll onto the dirty floor, without a second thought

Come on people! Think about what you like, who you like and what you share

Share when it is something of importance, if not to you then atleast something that might intrigue your “friend” but for the love of Pete!, read before you just throw your “likes” around like a stripper @ a strip club

Thanking you kindly,
Your Facebook Friend

Here's An Interesting Title, Now Click On It

Good Morrow Fellow Humanoids and welcome to weight up Wednesday! I just made that up. It is not weight up Wednesday because, seriously, who wants to be reminded of how much weight they still need to lose mid week & nogals on the infamous Steers Wacky Wednesday. Now, I’ve noticed that I have started to steer more to the “finished English” and steered away from the most likely reason people have followed & liked my blog. So, for today, I will try to steer away from my attempt at whatever the hell “Finished English” is and be a bit more, what society would deem, normal.

Awe ma se kind! LOL, OKAY! Not that unfinished!!!!

But seriously mense, waar is die liefde?

I sat in bed last night, under 3 blankets, with 2 jackets on and I was STILL getting cold. Now imagine, the fellas on the streets? I know. I know. Money is tight, blah blah blah but what if you were to save up all your pennies and dinges and give that to me as a donation or on your next shopping trip just pop a sakky pads in your trolley. No harm. No foul.

I am not asking for a lung or a kidney (I know if I was, I’d be dead right now). I am asking for a little. A fingernail. A small bietjie. Let’s teach the laatjies that there people who don’t have a toasty fireplace, who only have 1 blanket. Let’s pull them from their screens & let them help make that care package & butter that bread. Our society is too mal too think we can shield them from the downward spiral it is heading in. 

Think. Do. 

*for all my overseas mense, I apologise for the terminology but just quickly go onto Google & type in “Afrikaans to English Translator” and all the words you don’t know (the non english terms), just pop it in & learn away!

For aesthetics, here’s a picture of me,and then a collage of my snapchat adventures with my daughter last night

I hope you’ve made it this far down the post & now I shall be expecting my phone to BLOW up – 079 861 9603

Let’s Not Get It Twisted

It’s crazy how much I miss her even though I saw her a few hours ago
It’s crazy how I want a picture of her just to see if anything has changed
It must be madness that I can’t wait to leave in the morning but then when I get to work, I yearn to be with her

Continue reading “Let’s Not Get It Twisted”

Mommy Behind The Blog | Shaney Vijendranath

Ladies & Gents – this the the LAST “Mommy Behind The Blog” post…..Enjoy!

What is your name?

Shaney Vijendranath… People have difficulty pronouncing my name so it is Shan for short. 😉

How do you identify yourself?

Mom, Wife and a woman on a mission. 😉 I have always wanted to be my own boss and today I am, thanks to You, Baby and I blog. So I would like to add… a business woman

How many kids do you have? Ages? Girl? Boy?

My daughter Kitana turned 3-years-old in

August and my son Kiaan will be 3-months-old next week Monday.

Are you married/single?

Married

Stay at home mom or fulltime employed?

Work from home mom

When did you start blogging?

December 2013

Why did you start blogging?

I wanted to connect with moms and share my opinions about products/services.

Do you do any sponsored post?

Yes, I do and I actually enjoy writing them. Helps me think outside the box.

Competitions?

Definitely! My readers love a good competition!

What is your blog about?

My journey as a young working mom.

What do you love about being a mommy blogger?

Connecting with my readers and reading their stories.

As a mother, what is in your bag, like RIGHT NOW?

Lots of wet wipes and nappy sacks. Lol.

What are the struggles you face with being a mommy blogger?

Trying to balance work and home. It’s difficult since I work from home, I try to spend as much time as possible with my kids during the day and work till late at night.

Three things you can’t live without?

Tablet, lip gloss and glasses.

What’s a normal day like for you?

Every day is a bit different in my house, it all depends what time the kids get up but I wake up at around 5am and sleep at midnight. A typical day in the Vijendranath household is filled with dirty diapers, tantrums and not forgetting that I get peed on by my son at least once a day. My day starts with a good cup of tea and a catch up session with my daughter. She always has interesting stories.

Alone time? Do you even know what that is?

No… Maybe one day?

Words of wisdom?

Believe in yourself and never give up on your dreams. A support team is a must –I’m thankful for my husband.

Goals for 2016?

Rebranding for You, Baby and I.

What’s your favourite activity to do with your child/children?

My daughter and I love creating art with play-doh.

Where did you grow up?

Durban

How did you come up with your blog name?

I didn’t, my husband did. You (the reader), Baby (my kids) and I. 😉 Many people don’t know that he is the genius behind the blog – he does the pictures, art work and maintains the website.

Tell us something that NO ONE else knows about you?

Gosh, this one is difficult. Lol. My husband knows everything about me. I’m not a secretive person.

And lastly, tell us how becoming a mother has changed you……..

Honestly I have no idea where to start. I’m a new person. Being a mom is amazing but also difficult. Motherhood gave me strength I never knew existed. Every day I’m learning something from my kids.

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Go on & stalk here……..make it the last stalk for the year 🙂

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Mommy Behind The Blog | Mandy Lee Miller

This is the 2nd last one for the infamous SUPERbusyMOM2.0 series 🙂

What is your name?

Mandy Lee Miller

How do you identify yourself?

Mommy, wife, daughter sister, friend, writer, mommy blogger, editor in chief, brand consultant

How many kids do you have? Ages? Girl? Boy?

One daughter named Charlotte Rose Miller (Charly), who is 22 months (2 in Feb)

 

Are you married/single?

Married to Brett for 3 years on 3 May which is our 10 year together anniversary as well.

 

Stay at home mom or fulltime employed?

Both haha. I am a work at home mom, who manages 5 businesses, and will be expanding on one and adding another in 2016.

 

When did you start blogging?

2013 when I found out I was pregnant

 

Why did you start blogging?

As a writer I wanted to document my pregnancy and share my journey with others to “normalise” the not-always-pleasant experience of pregnancy and becoming a parent.

 

Do you do any sponsored post?

Yes

 

Competitions?

Yes

 

What is your blog about?

It is about the journey of parenthood from the moment you find out you are pregnant, warts and all. The core is my journey, sharing my experiences, my struggles, my relationship with myself and my child; but I also explore other women’s experinces through various series, and enjoy sharing and supporting exceptional family lifestyle focused businesses, with a special focus on mom-owned businesses.

 

What do you love about being a mommy blogger?

Providing support and comfort to other parents by sharing stories that let them know that they are never alone in what they are experiencing. Being a part of a community of incredibly talented women and writers. Being able to reach thousands of people every month and know that I am having a positive influence in their lives.

 

As a mother, what is in your bag, like RIGHT NOW?

An empty makeup bag (the makeup is all over the couch – ️thanks Charly), deoderant, a misty empty wallet, 4 pens, a notebook, 2 Huggies nappies, kids sunscreen, a silver plastic car, a Bratz doll and a dummy.

 

What are the struggles you face with being a mommy blogger?

One of the most difficult things in the world is when you have poured your heart into writing something and it doesn’t reach as many people as you had hoped. The purpose of my blog is to reach out to people, to have them feel less alone, and when I share a story that I feel could really make a difference for people and I just can’t seem to get it out there to those people I really struggle.

 

Three things you can’t live without?

My family, my phone and the Internet.

 

What’s a normal day like for you?

Long. Very very long. Charly wakes on average every 90 minutes throughout the night and starts out day around 6am. I start working around 7:30 on Tums 2 Tots Online, client work, emails, South African Sisterhood and Pregnant in Cape Town (PiCT). My mom arrives as backup around 8:30 and keeps C busy while I work til around 11:30 (with a few meltdowns and neeeeeeds mommy and sometimes just cuddle and kiss visits from C). At 11:30 I settle Charly for her nap and then work on my phone for an hour while my mom eats and breathes.

12:30 I eat and have a coffee, sometimes prep food for Charly. I go back to work around 1.

Deal with miss Cs wake up tears around 2:30 (she gets that response to waking from me).

Go back to work til 3:30 when my mom leaves. Spend about haf an hour chatting to and playing with Charly, then we snuggle up on the big bed with our Curious George movie, rice cakes and cold water and we watch that (while I work one handed on my phone, stopping to do the songs and dances at the appropriate times). Hubby gets home around 5 after running errands and cooks dinner while I spend time with Charly (or working depending on deadlines). We eat dinner as a family, Charly and I bath, family story time and Charly bedtime around 7:30. Once she is asleep, I head to our room and – you guessed it – work on my laptop while watching series with hubby until Cs first wakeup around 10:30/11. And the whole process starts over.

 

Alone time? Do you even know what that is?

Hahahahahahahahaha. No idea what that is at all. I dot get to bath alone or sleep alone or go to the bathroom alone. I am occasionally alone in a room when I work, though never for very long. Every few months I get a massage because sleeping with a very active toddler does all kind of fun things to my neck and back.

 

Words of wisdom?

You won’t actually die from lack of sleep.

There is always ALWAYS somebody going through the same or very similar things as you are when you are a parent – you are not alone. You are a Supermommy!!

WRT blogging – we all struggle with numbers, we all feel like we aren’t good enough, we all consider stopping every other week. If you keep going back to the reason you started your blog in the first place, you will always be a success.

 

Goals for 2016?

Balance. Growth. Health. And possibly baby number 2.

 

What’s your favourite activity to do with your child/children?

Reading. I LOVE how much she loves books. I love that her vocabulary is on track to be bigger than mine. I love that she has such an amazing memory that she can “read” many of them herself, but that she also has such an incredible imagination that she can nake up her own stories when it suits her.

 

Where did you grow up? 

Cape Town

 

How did you come up with your blog name?

I was pregnant – in Cape Town :,D I added “& ever after” when I relaunched in May and expanded it from just a personal diary to include the other facets.

 

Tell us something that NO ONE else knows about you?

As a “too honest” blogger, I’m not actually sure there is anything that nobody knows about me… Maybe… I have dermographism, which essentially means you can write on my skin with your nail or pretty much anything and then read what you wrote. Lol. It’s incredibly rare affecting only about 4% of the population; and it’s not dangerous or contagious at all.

Basically my skin has an allergic reaction even without introducing an allergen. It is aggravated by stress and anxiety and the welts or writing disappear after about 10 minutes.

 

And lastly, tell us how becoming a mother has changed you……..

It changed every single thing about me, every aspect of my being. It has made me more afraid than I have ever been; from the minute I found out I was pregnant, her life became bigger than mine and the fear of ever having her threatened, hurt or lost became a core part of who I am now. At the same time, I became braver than I have ever been; I would do anything to protect her or make her proud. That includes introducing huge change into my life which I had avoided at all costs until then – I resigned from a stressful position that I felt threatened my pregnancy, I started my own business, I started my blog, I have faced fears and hurts from my past to be better and stronger for her and I bought a magazine so that I could follow my passion and hopefully teach her to do the same.

 

PLEASE go over and show Mandy-Lee some MAJOR December LOVE 🙂

COPYRIGHT MLM Charly reading her books COPYRIGHT MLM us Love & Trust Mandy Lee Miller Profile Pic MLM Profile Picture

 

& her social media links………..let’s do one last stalk before the year ends 🙂

 

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Disgusted

This post will be short & sweet

A revelation o f sorts

Today I had a look into a full length mirror

At myself

The fat me I am not able to see in my basic ass mirror

A size 14

One child

27 years old

I saw all my bodily imperfections

“Is this what I look like?”

“Is this what you all see when you look at me?”

I know my face is fat and I know I need to lose a few, but that glimpse, that momentary glimpse was all I needed, internally, to lose my fuckin shit

I went batshit crazy, in my head, silently

I had a revelation

Things bulging and bouncing when I wasn’t moving an inch

Things hanging where they should be taunt but not tight

I should look like what I think I should but I should not look like this

I should be proud of what I look  like naked but even I wouldn’t want to sleep with myself

I was disgusted

I am disgusted

I need to make a change

This is not one of those “I will diet for the first week of January 2016”

This is an realisation

My naked body in a full length mirror is fuckin revolting & I am not looking for sympathy

I am looking for you to recognize that this is the first time I have seen myself naked, completely

I wanted to throw something at that mirror

To crack it

Clearly with a belly so big, so sucking in is not working

Something needs to happen

Something needs to change

I have to stick to my words

I have gotten much bigger than what I was a year ago and even though I might never be as pretty as I want or as thin as I want ; I know I can start somewhere

 

Not so much of a rant post but thanx for reading

 

Here’s a Christmas tree for the time I’ve wasted 🙂

 

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GhostWriter | A Poem For Sam From Me

Sam wanted to be ravaged
She’d been alone for too long
She needed someone to pull her hair and bite her neck
She craved a manly, rugged touch
She wanted nothing more than to be taken from the back
To the back
Pulled into a dark abyss where fantasy was as she imagined
She needed to be punished
For what? She did not know
She needed to be choked as she came
Sam needed to be ravaged
Passionately
She was closed off
She was closed down
Sam needed to be looked at
Lustfully
Wanted
Sam needed to be explored
She had a desire for the unwanted
The unhinged
To be lustfully taken
Forcefully taken
A kiss so rare and dangerous that even she would run scared
Sam needed to become unhinged
She needed to be free
Thoughtless
Embodied with yours
Sam wanted your mouth to engulf her most intimate parts
She wanted you to become one with her
She needed you to stay there
Stay here
Sam craved your attention
She sought your lonely heart
Your wandering hands
Sam needed you to be her
She needed you to be her
Sam wanted you to be him
She wanted you to be him
She loathed what you did to her
She loved how you did it to her
She no longer wanted anyone else
She craved your kisses
She longed for your eyes
Sam was sold
On you
For you
Sam was sold
Into this fanatasy
Still alone
Still lonely
Sam was sold
You bought a lonely heart
You bought a sad heart
You bought Sam
Sam needed to be ravaged
Sam wanted to be ravaged
But not hurt