It must be hard……..

This has been in my thoughts for a long-ass time but, as an adult, have you ever thought how hard it must be to be a toddler? Not like hard but frustrating……….
Always getting told “No, Don’t Touch That, Stop It, What Are You Doing”
Like random kak & there is ALWAYS someone on your case
Like all the time
“Come Here, Wipe Your Nose, Stop Eating That Cockroach”
Like I said…….random kak
They never get a break
Sometimes I look at my daughter and I feel slightly sorry for her
Never a moment
Seriously
Shamepies

Boom!!!

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It was  FANTASTIC day yesterday……..for SUPERbusyMOM2.0
🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉👍👍👍👍👍👍🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊
this was just after lunchtime 😃

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🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉👍👍👍👍👍👍🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊
and this was just before I konked out for the night, at 11:30pm

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MAJOR thanx for all the love
SUPER appreciated❤❤❤❤❤

The Random Post

So I went to the V&A Waterfront this evening and I realised something; I am not confident

Not even in the least
In saying that, I have no idea where this post is going and I might offend some people (noted there are not alot of people who read my blog) and I can promise that I will be blogging this post like I am talking to a friend
Ready?
hahaha
So, like I said; I am not confident
I have been single since November 2013 and a single mom since the very beginning, May 2012
I don’t think I have ever been very confident and I think being a single somewhat overweight individual/single mom has diminished this limited confidence I have
If you know me, as a friend, acquaintance ; you’ll know that I am quite fuckin sarcastic, a major cunt when I have time and I tend to steer away from sentimental kak
Why?
Because I can get depro as fuck
I’m talking depro to the point of “you shouldn’t even look at me”
I hate that I am not confident like these muffin top gals, or those skinny legged bitches
I walk with my head down
I don’t smile, which makes me a sufferer/victim of #RestingBitchFace
I am sarcastic because it is better than talking about my feelings, because, seriously, who has time for feelings?
I am typing this from my laptop because I lazy as fuck when it comes to typing things on my phone #voicenoteAllTheTime
I have also been on this “I am not a good mother” vibe lately
I always tell people “you don’t know what goes on behind closed doors”
So, in saying that, you don’t
I shout
I scream
I post happy kak on FB & Insta
Not to say that happy kak only happens for the camera
BUT
major BUT
I feel like my bad moments outweigh the fuckin outrageously awesome days
I am a fuckin awesome mom and I exude confidence and I am bad-fuckin-ass
BUT
that can all change , in a split second
Just.Like.That
No mater how awesome I feel or look or think I am, coz you know I am damn well freakin fuckin terrific
It is easier for me to be sarcastic, bad mouthing myself Athena
It is easier to talk down to myself because it is easier to believe that I will always be fat
I will always be skinny
I will always be this fuckin dumb and bad
A bad person
A bad mother
It is easier for me to be horrible to myself because seriously, who would want to love an overweight (slightly) 27 year old single mom who STILL lives at home and doesn’t have her drivers license
It is easier than hoping for the best
Hoping that things will change
It is easier than having a hope and a dream
It is easier to just lie
Much fuckin easier to pretend
Pretend that I am happy
Pretend that I am ok
It is easier to type this than to lay on a therapists’ couch and cry and let people see that ugly and vunerable side of me
So much easier to stay occupied
I mean, look at me
Seriously
I don’t look at you and get jealous, I am way past jealousy
I look at you and even though I am unhappy or unfulfilled with what I have or am, I am contempt
I am ready to be alone
I am ready to build my empire, not to say I can do it on my own
But, I know, until I can find that confidence and self love on the inside, I will never be ready ; even for a one night stand
I don’t think I will ever be as confident as I want #perfectionist
I know I am happy
I just wish I could give more of myself to me and I just wish I could see the beauty the world sees
I know I am not ugly
I know I am not grotesquely fat
but I also know I am not confident, like that butterface girl walking with her overly tall hunk of a boyfriend
I know I am not ever going to land the man I want, qualities-wise
It is no man’s fault but mine; I need to find that confidence in myself and that self love and as long as I don’t have that – I will always be a horrible mother
I will always say things to hurt my now 4 year old daughter, because that’s how I speak to myself, like I don’t love myself and I shouldn’t exist
I emit what’s on the inside and because she is so much like me, I do feel like it’s ok that I can speak to her whichever way I want and that is wrong
That’s why I have such a stinky attitude
That’s why I am such a slut with my bek
I need to fix me before I break her

Mommy Behind The Blog | Shaney Vijendranath

Ladies & Gents – this the the LAST “Mommy Behind The Blog” post…..Enjoy!

What is your name?

Shaney Vijendranath… People have difficulty pronouncing my name so it is Shan for short. 😉

How do you identify yourself?

Mom, Wife and a woman on a mission. 😉 I have always wanted to be my own boss and today I am, thanks to You, Baby and I blog. So I would like to add… a business woman

How many kids do you have? Ages? Girl? Boy?

My daughter Kitana turned 3-years-old in

August and my son Kiaan will be 3-months-old next week Monday.

Are you married/single?

Married

Stay at home mom or fulltime employed?

Work from home mom

When did you start blogging?

December 2013

Why did you start blogging?

I wanted to connect with moms and share my opinions about products/services.

Do you do any sponsored post?

Yes, I do and I actually enjoy writing them. Helps me think outside the box.

Competitions?

Definitely! My readers love a good competition!

What is your blog about?

My journey as a young working mom.

What do you love about being a mommy blogger?

Connecting with my readers and reading their stories.

As a mother, what is in your bag, like RIGHT NOW?

Lots of wet wipes and nappy sacks. Lol.

What are the struggles you face with being a mommy blogger?

Trying to balance work and home. It’s difficult since I work from home, I try to spend as much time as possible with my kids during the day and work till late at night.

Three things you can’t live without?

Tablet, lip gloss and glasses.

What’s a normal day like for you?

Every day is a bit different in my house, it all depends what time the kids get up but I wake up at around 5am and sleep at midnight. A typical day in the Vijendranath household is filled with dirty diapers, tantrums and not forgetting that I get peed on by my son at least once a day. My day starts with a good cup of tea and a catch up session with my daughter. She always has interesting stories.

Alone time? Do you even know what that is?

No… Maybe one day?

Words of wisdom?

Believe in yourself and never give up on your dreams. A support team is a must –I’m thankful for my husband.

Goals for 2016?

Rebranding for You, Baby and I.

What’s your favourite activity to do with your child/children?

My daughter and I love creating art with play-doh.

Where did you grow up?

Durban

How did you come up with your blog name?

I didn’t, my husband did. You (the reader), Baby (my kids) and I. 😉 Many people don’t know that he is the genius behind the blog – he does the pictures, art work and maintains the website.

Tell us something that NO ONE else knows about you?

Gosh, this one is difficult. Lol. My husband knows everything about me. I’m not a secretive person.

And lastly, tell us how becoming a mother has changed you……..

Honestly I have no idea where to start. I’m a new person. Being a mom is amazing but also difficult. Motherhood gave me strength I never knew existed. Every day I’m learning something from my kids.

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Go on & stalk here……..make it the last stalk for the year 🙂

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