Notice Me

I still want him. All of him. His arms around me. I miss him. Deeply. Insanely. Am I crazy? I think so. I’m not wanting the sex. I’m not wanting the sex or the passion. I’m wanting him. The him I fell inlove with. The him I constantly crave. Like some drug addicted prisoner.  Perhaps it’s not love,it’s probably just crazy infatuation. Crazy infatuation that I can’t have him. Crazy infatuation that I hope he is the one. For me. For always. It is a pulling emotion. A pulling heart. A hurting. I know it’s crazy and I come across as crazy,obsessive and completely pyscho but who am I to stop what my heart wants,when all my heart wants is you. It’s not like you don’t know. It’s not like I haven’t told you. It’s just that I sit here. Waiting. Waiting for you to say something. Dammit! Anything really. I want him. I need him. Perhaps the picture I’ve painted is not a reality. Perhaps the picture I’ve painted is obscured. Perhaps the picture I painted is not you,it is not me. It is an alternate universe where love happens. An alternate universe when you see me and I see you. Some crazy Hollywood shit. I want him. I want you. Think what you may but my heart is pained. It is in pain. I am in pain. I AM IN PAIN!!!!!! I want you. I need you. Where are you? Notice me.

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I don’t care how stupid I sound or naive I sound. I just don’t care. It had to be said. I had to say it. Notice Me.

**disclaimer: all pics are courtesy of 9gag, pinterest, facebook,tumblr or just plain ol’ google 👍

Seriously? #howhard

So,once again, WordPress fucked with my post, so here I am,at work RE TYPING what I initially posted. 😠
Basically,my post was about the fact that I have been single for 2 years now and still NO LUCK……I have been single,like all over. I am not afraid or apprehensive about 1 night stands and I am not a judger of that kind. Do you girl, just be safe and use protection. I know I am not the most beautiful or most approachable lady in the world but I mean,like really now? It’s been 2 years and I know my time will come but heerie, when? I just wanna know,why so long?! I don’t mind being alone and if I am meant to be alone forever, then that’s fine but it would be nice to like know that. I do think that it comes from inside, like I really don’t think that I am 100% ready for a full on relationship but I know that when the time is right, I would want it to be a forever kind of love.
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Random Post #notrelated

I find that this world is unsafe and with the conversation at the office taking a turn towards a debate about whether or whether not to let our kids sleep over. I went with the NOT. Due to the fact that she is a girl and still so young. I still think I would not be comfortable even if she is 6 or 12 years old. It’s not that I don’t trust people. I don’t trust the world. It has become unsafe,to the point where you cannot walk ALONE to the corner. Every move you make is monitored. You,as a citizen,need to be super vigilant. Fuck! That bra you helped with kos now the other day could end up being the dude that slits your throat one night. Seriously. No one is safe. Ever. People take advantage. These druggies or whoever it is that fuckin breaking in,shooting, hurting people don’t care and I will sticktp my guns that our government, our country is going to shit! Down the fuckin drain man! There isnt much to be desired when you look at our government and the smet that is our president. How,are we,as a nation suppose to feel safe? How,are we,as parents suppose to protect our children, when we have become so easily targetted by these smet kinders? I swear this country is just going to get and nee,it’s not one of those “it always gets worse before it gets better”. It’s just plain kak,down the toilet piss kak. Fuckin government!!!! 😠

**disclaimer: all pics are courtesy of 9gag, pinterest, facebook,tumblr or just plain ol’ google 👍

The End

Wow! What a day!!!!! Zineah’s creche had a theme day – Come dressed as people who inspire us

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They then had Zineah’s “Creche Birthday Party”

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We then had a jol at home

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Zineah got a bike,a banner and a stryofoam minion

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#BLESSED #BEYOND #GOODNIGHT #CHEERSTOBEING3YEARSOLD

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**disclaimer: all pics are courtesy of 9gag, pinterest, facebook,tumblr or just plain ol’ google 👍

Birthday Girl

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It’s a damn good Friday because I am on leave but mostly because it’s someone’s birthday :mrgreen::)☺:D;)

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Zineah Elizabeth Japhta………..my daughter,for those of you who don’t know.
She is THREE YEARS OLD and oh so clever and gorgeous and loved. The theme at her creche today is to go as people who inspire us- we chose Doc McStuffins

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We also decided that she doesn’t have many favourites but,up until recently,her favourite movie to watch was Despicable Me,so of course that’s the theme we chose. This is the set up at creche. 34 bananas is no joke!!!!!!

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I am so blessed to be her mother. I wouldn’t choose to change my life for anything in this world,not even money. She has made me a better person. She has made me want to do better and be better. She is my blessing. She is my love. She is my life.

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Happy Birthday My Monkey 😍😘👸💞👍👌👑🎂🎁🎊🎉🎈Mommy loves you 💗👄

**disclaimer: all pics are courtesy of 9gag, pinterest, facebook,tumblr or just plain ol’ google 👍

Motherhood

Kids. Kids. Kid. Kid. They seem to get sick and then keep you up all night but come 5am,then they sleep vas like someone who is trying to recover from an all weekend drinking binge. They seem to expect the most of you even when you’re not at your best. Wherever that might be. The loo is where this normally happens because kids can’t bear to miss out on anything mommy does. Heerie,everything comes back to mommy
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But, seriously? Would you change it? To go back to your pre- mommy ways? No matter how old you were when you became a mother. Whether it was when you were 16 or 36. To become the pre-you?
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They,these kids. These little terrors. These little buggers. These toddlers that just fockin scratch! The whole blady day! Pak al die kasies uit! Don’t fockin listen either. Jy praat aan een #brokenrecord . They are the experts at ignoring and changing the subject. They look ONE WAY,the whole fockin time you talk. One way. Jy kan maar wat se,maar die kop bly stil.
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It’s worth it though,like in the end. At night,when they’re sleeping and you get to go taatie with the kisses. Kisses everywhere💋! There’s nobody to stop you. When they hug you. You know the kinda hug that makes everything and everyone in the world disappear. Those hands around your neck. When they say “I love You” and when they look at you. In that moment you know that all the past struggles was worth it and all the future struggles will be worth it.
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They made us who we are. They made us want to be a better version of ourselves. They showed us what pure unconditional love is. They make it worthwhile. The bodies. The tears. The scars. The heartache. The pain. Every second. Every pound. Worth. It. Always

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**disclaimer: all pics are courtesy of 9gag, pinterest, facebook,tumblr or just plain ol’ google 👍

Untitled*

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I write (type actually) as an outlet. I am not here to be your friend. I am not here to make you laugh. I am here to be relateable. I am here to be honest. I might not win the most awards or have the most followers or even subscribers but what I have is honesty. I have an outlook on life,my life, that is honest and sometimes crass. What I say is not always swallowed easily but I never promised easy. I promised Athena. I promised the me that many of you don’t know. I promised to be honest,no matter the outcome. I’ve said this on previous posts and I have preached this on my Insta – I AM NOT HERE TO BE LIKED. Yes, it is nice to see my blog stats move up a bit when I post something, not as much I would like though,but I like that I have a few followers. The few that follow me because they care and are interested, even if it’s just to skim over the post. I appreciate the people who make an effort. Those that subscribe. I appreciate you and your participation. I do. 

**disclaimer: all pics are courtesy of 9gag, pinterest, facebook,tumblr or just plain ol’ google 👍

Brain Power

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I. Have. No. Brain. Power.
Work has been hectic and I don’t even have lis to type this post. Like FOCKALL lis,but here I am,typing; because I want you to know that I have no lis and no brain power. My brain literally stops functioning at optimal level by 3pm and then I get in the car and COMPLETE switch off. Like totes bru!
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I am currently SO busy at work because it’s that time of the year where the shot could literally hit the fan at any given time.
I have no time to work out because my child thinks it’s ok to scream out in her sleep, which means I CANNOT have my music on full blast,like you should, when I exercise.
I am dealing with a court case. When I say “dealing”, I mean that I have ovee 60 emails from lawyers with their fees but ai fok!, it’s like selling my vag on the corner kinda fees!
I am trying to do my drivers but seems like I might just break the car first #gears #suckydriver #learner
I am trying to get Zineah’s unabridged birth certificate but I also can’t afford to spend a day at Home Affairs #government so I am looking into paying someone R800 for this process #brokemama
I am on some weird diet that makes me kak twice a day and just plain liquidises that shit, my shit!
It’s also Zineah’s 3rd Birthday Party this week #exhausted #needIsaymore

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I am at capacity mense! My brain needs a re – shuffle. An indian head massage even 🙂

**disclaimer: all pics are courtesy of 9gag, pinterest, facebook,tumblr or just plain ol’ google 👍

Special Day. Special Person

This post will be dedicated to a man who has helped raise me and who has always been there for me. My daddy. I know that I was not and am still not the easiest child and I know what grief I’ve caused you but you’ve always been there. Never failing. Never faltering. You are a man that all other men need to look up to. Not only am I so lucky to have you in my life but so are the people who meet you and who are able to interact. My mother sure did choose the right man to marry. I know when God chooses to bless me with a man, that he will have to come very close to you. You’ve shown me what I want and the type of man I deserve. You are an inspiration and I am honoured to be your daughter. I am honoured that I have been blessed to spend another birthday with you. 

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Thank You for being a great father!

Thank You for being a great grandfather!

Thank You for being a great husband!

Thank You for being a great God fearing man!

Office Politics😠

People. People. People. Office politics are my fuckin life! Now,not many people what position I hold or where I work but let me say this. I have been in this industry for 5 years and I have always enjoyed it. This industry is brilliant. The company I work for not so much. It isn’t so much as office politics as it is plain bitchiness and people not wanting to take responsibility.

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Now. My position is something I do not enjoy but I make the most of it #donthaveachoice . I am a Receptionist but if you wanna be fancy and give me a jits title,with fockol money then please do call me Branch Secretary. It is literally a glorified title! Why give me this kak title if your plan is to treat me like a peasant and pay me like a beggar. I am pretty sure, like bet my kidney on it sure,that my boss doesn’t constantly check her wallet everyday. That’s just to make sure you haven’t somehow lost the money you have all intention of keeping til middle month #chokers #cowboykos #brokebrother

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I work, no; I die at this company everyday. I do not want to be there but reiterate that I make the best of my situation. Don’t really have a choice. The shit I get blamed for is luda-wait-for-it-CRIS!!!!!!!! Let’s just,for the fun of it, mention a few things I get blamed for
– not being able to find a file
– not knowing the answer to something #notagenius
– not being cheery…….all the TIME #notahappylady
– literally anything
You read right ! I can and will get blamed for anything and everything 😐

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I’ve learnt to live with it though. Like literally just take it up the ass & deal with it. Seriously. Just adopt my bitch attitude because EMOTIONS ARE NOT ALLOWED unless it’s CHEERY & a tad bit taatie.

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On another note, if anyone knows of a company looking for an awesome person,great skills blah blah blah, then pop me a mail athena.japhta@gmail.com, msg me on WhatsApp 079 861 9603, BBM me 7F48C449 or Direct Message me on Insta superbusymom143.

I promise to make you fat with delicious treats & even babysit your babatjie if need be. I AM A GREAT PERSON!!!!!!!!!!

Dankie en baie liefde vir almal 😉

**disclaimer: all pics are courtesy of 9gag, pinterest, facebook,tumblr or just plain ol’ google 👍