Men

To touch on  my post ‘Meat’ – som mans is varke!!!!
This bra…..like seriously #psshhnigga
I honestly don’t know what it is but guys (boys?) just seem to think it’s ok to objectify me…..and yes this post is a rant and all about me 🙂 #jyweetmos
Joking or not,it’s not funny.
Is it coz I’m so chilled?
Is it coz I just couldn’t fuckin care….. coz I know its not gonna happen
Is it coz my friendiless is mistaken for flirtation?
Firstly,it’s offensive
Secondly,who the fuck do you think you are
Thirdly, what the fuck do you think of me
I am not desperate – far fuckin from it bru
How’s about treating me with respect? I’m sure you’d want your mother/daughter/cousin/niece to be treated with respect.
It just irks me so much and I guess you just carry on because I don’t have time to teach you how to treat a GROWN ASS woman.

You need to know where you stand with me. You need to know what is allowed and what isnt allowed. We are not ‘besties’ or ‘bf and gf’. I am not your ‘bae’. Hard fuckin concept to understand? Then go back to grade school and get taught!
This world doesnt need another random perverted stalker like weirdo!

It’s simple – show me some respect and maybe you’ll get a bit further than a text.

Yesterday and Today #soemajust

WARNING: this post was typed YESTERDAY but due to me not smaaking it has now been postponed until today….duh #figureitoutdumbo

So…..yesterday started off great and then it went all kinda weird,and then busy.

Yesterday (the nutshell version)
– Went for an interview chat
– Saw a few of my old colleagues aka VERY good friends
– Went back to work
– Had a crazy busy day
– Had to deal with some wackadoo
– Started thinking about certain people
– Started thinking about how I need to get a move on
-Realised that some be bitches

Today (the nutshell version)
– Oh.My.Fuck! How busy my bru #whew
-Haven’t had lunch yet,just a yoghurt #healthymuch
– My eyes are burning….it’s like they’ve seen something super wrong and totes gross #eeuuww
– I smaak to eat a lekker dite #lol #socoloured…..like ribs or pizza with avo on

So,basically the past 2 days have been crazier. Today crazier than yesterday. I guess you gotta have a crazy day to go with a crazy personality #realise

Dilemma!!!!!

I need a new harddrive….like fuckin stat!

My current harddrive has like zero space and there is still so much downloading to do!!!

#eek

Please? Someone? Anyone? Buy me one and I’ll pay you back……or something like that

Or atleast buy me a laptop,where I can store all my shit.

I need a backup,man. I just have too many series/movies & other stuff. And, no I will not delete things……uuhhh stupid face!

Just buy me a damn space back upper

Challenge

So, I’ve decided to take the No Cellphone Challenge again. I did it in the beginning of my path to bloggerhood and I feel like I need to do it again. I’m always complaining that my daughter doesn’t have time for me yet I am ALWAYS glued to my phone, like now.
It sure won’t help now that I have a gazillion games on my phone. Atleast no one chats to me #sarcasm #kaksad

I plan to start this challenge this weekend…..I will occasionally glance at my phone when my daughter is not around but I will NOT be glued to it.

Here’s to my first No Cellphone Challenge of 2015 ☺

Apologies

I’m sorry. Two of the hardest word I’ve ever had to say. I’m not very good with apologies. Not because I think that I’m better than you or that I am too good to apologise but because I’m a crier. I’m talking about the proper snot and trane, don’t look at me ugly face. Fokol filter.
This post isn’t just random. It’s a purposeful post. Lot’s of thought and even though I’m typing this from my phone while driving home,it doesn’t make it any less sincere.

This post to dedicated to Chad,the dude with the decade long crush #dudeiscrazy

I am sorry. For judging you and jumping down your throat. I obviously didn’t mean it. For it to come across like that. I am just very scared and I am not quick to admit when I am scared and I am not one to succumb to my vulnerabilities.

People don’t normally have the opportunity to hear me apologise so next time I see you,I’ll be sure to say I’m sorry and mean it. Just like I mean it now.

Like I said before, you’ll be legendary,famous and you’ll get a TV show.

Once again,Chad,the dude with the decade long crush…..I’m sorry

Meat

What the fuck do I look like to you?
I can see you,like right fuckin there.
I’m not blind. I see you sitting there,stroking your dick. I know you only come around to check me out.
Some damn library book,my ass!
I feel your perverted stare. I can feel it burning through my back. Your stare scares me. I don’t ever want to be alone with you. I know you want it.
I know you’d try something if there weren’t consequences.  I am not a piece of meat. I am a damn human being!
I don’t dress for you. I dress for me because I am comfortable. I am comfortable in me. In my skin.
Not your skin to admire. Not your skin to want. Not your skin to fantasize about.This is my big ass. This is my bouncing tummy. This is my perfectly round breasts. This is my coloured lips. This is my body. I am not here to fulfil some sick twisted fantasy. Get me out of your head. Get me out of your dick.
I am not your baby. I am not your darling. I am not your sweetie.
I am a person. With value. I am a person. I deserve some damn respect. Stop coming around with your dick all up in my business. Get that shit sorted and leave me be. I am not just a piece of ass. I am not a trophy. Take your dick handling hands and move the fuck on. I am worth more than just a one night. I sure as hell do deserve better. Move the fuck along with your perverted thoughts.

I ain’t gonna settle.
God’s got this shit handled.

This Week

It’s only the 2nd week of the working week and WOWZA, ek is moeg jong!

This has probably been the busiest I’ve been in the past few months and there are loads of things on the way #yayness

In the industry I’m in and the specific company,it is for sure our busy season and it’s nice, but with all ups,for damn sure there has to be a down 🙁

I am not,according to the big bosses,friendly or whatever when I answer the phone. Yes people, I am a receptionist. I now have to answer the phone like someone who was just laughing or someone who is very much on drugs. In most cases,it will be the latter.

I am not a ‘smiler’…. not even a little bit. I’m a laugher and then klaar. Don’t ask too much from my face – it isn’t made for fake expressions. I can’t plak on kak. My face just does it’s own shit and damn man!, it sure is hard to be all pretending and what not.

My face is honest. I’m honest. Yes yes I know I’m the voice of the company but heerie fuck,I’m doing the best.

My face isn’t some expensive molding fuckin clay. It’s that cheap kak you get from Pep. The kind that can’t be molded into any fuckin thing coz it’s too taai. It’s the old prestik. It’s the bubblegum under a chair (which my child actually eats,and the prestik).

Please! I haven’t genuinely smiled in ages….I’m a laugher, like a fuckin for real LOL kinda gevriet.

Don’t change it

image

26

With age comes great responsibility right?

I’m pretty sure there is a quote somewhere like that.

NO – I lied, it’s more like “With Great power comes great responsibility” , but whatevs right?

with-great-power-comes-great-responsibility-85365090

 

So, I’m officially 26 (it was totes o-fish on my birthday) and this year (even though it’s only Jan The Man) has been quite revealing (not like in a sex porn way).

Lots of odd ball things have been happening, like how I’m saying “totes” LONG AFTER that ship has sailed #ishthemish

I can whistle – I could never whistle, only pursed my lips together for kissing #duh

The fact that I am ALWAYS HASHTAGGING like some fuckin professional #hashtagstopit

I sing…..like all the time, and I reckon that I’m pretty damn good. Not like Idols or some kak, just like infront of a crowd, karaoke bar, only good singer there kinda thing #thaniahendricks #mrsshaf #isthatshafssurname #yournewone #theoldmissjaffer

I’m comfortable, like right now. And happy. And, if you know me, that is super kak rare, like for me to be just completely happy.

Men – I was stuck on one for awhile, and then he likes my FB status, and I was just like “Bra, why? Like no, please, just stop it kanala”

I talk with the intent to listen, mind you, I am talking to myself so ya, there’s that

I am so over this baby bullshit drama

I know – like what I wanna do, and how I am going to do it, and it’s not the fairy princess kak I dreamt about 6 months ago, it’s some downright viable shit that is ON POINT #ishthemish #sayitbitch

Bi-cha-cho is my new word – I be greeting bitches like “Whats’s Up Bichacho?”  #reeniepeenie

With all of this revealings and what not, I feel lighter (no, not in a “I’m not fat” way)- I just feel like I finally fuckin know. Like at 26, I’m up in here knowing kak.

(imitating a sturvy white girl – you know who I’m talking about) “Like, I’ve been so totally lost and like, uhh, I’ve finally found myself. And, like, I’m so, like totes haps man. Like totally.”

P.S I just re-read this blogpost like totes 50 million times.

 

Have a GREAT day peeps!!!!!!

Religiously

A thought occured to me the other day and I’ve been 2 minded about writing this blogpost because I know many people (even though there are literally 2 people who read my posts) will have something debateable to say.

Religiously…..

Things people do religiously;
Smoking
Drinking
Clubbing
Sex
Shopping
Hooking Up
Gyming
Pooping (?)
Work
Hiking
Running
Working Out
Eating organic
Eating raw
Dieting
Blogging
Writing
Journalling
Being a Social Media Guru
Facebook
Snapchat
Facetime
Skype
Pinterest
Porn (?)
Masturbate (?)
Pretending (?)

Those are literally all I can think of right now but do you see where I’m going with this?

People are religiously always doing something besides, I don’t know, going to church/temple/mosque.

Now, I am not innocent but atleast I try. I’m not saying you bitches don’t but isn’t it a tad bit ironic that you can get up for something that you hate but provides your bread and butter? A tad ironic that you can get up early for a anythingdrinkingfest.

I’m not saying it’s wrong or right. I just find it a bit funny that we are always religiously doing something else besides religion.